Wk 4 Readings: My Focus on the Effort Ch. 9-12
There are so many concepts of my life I can apply
Zanders philosophies to both personally and professionally. However, as
I write this passage, at this very moment my thoughts are with the five
at-risk youth I am trying to work with. I stress trying because as life
‘is what it is’ for me, I had to realize it is the same for them. I may
not be able to change them, well influence their beliefs is a better
and more appropriate phrase. I can only lead by example, show them I
sincerely love and care for them and want the best that life can offer,
feed them positivity and show them the possible outcome.
How I pay-forward is in my passion and
unending desire to help, I tell those I meet how I feel about them, I am
not afraid to show or express myself. Even when my kindness is
misunderstood or turned away it hurts but as the Zanders stated Life
just is and there are things we have to accept. We make the attempts and
if lucky and pushed hard enough sometimes the results are right on.
Truth and reality, however, lets me know it may not always be that way. I
am only responsible for the effort not necessarily the outcome. Which
is why Zanders speaks so against blaming oneself.
I can only hope for the future of these
five young men. I know that I have touched them in more ways than they
express, for I see the changes, the smiles, the report cards, and
occasionally I get an actual “thank you Elaine for helping me.” What is
hard to muster is that it is not from all five of them. That two or
three of them are showing signs of regression and that is difficult. I
asked the questions still, “Why aren’t they listening to me? Why can’t
they seem that the pathway they are choosing will hold the possibility
of assured struggles? What didn’t I do right?” So I follow Zander’s
advice and can only focus on the part that I played, while continuing to
be there and just simply do the best I can for or by them. I have no
power over all the circumstances in their lives. My job wasn’t to fix
them but to show them a better way and hope that in those learnings, the
young men would gain a better light of themselves just enough to make a
change. I have left the spark at times I see it turn into a fire that
ignites the positive changes I mentioned. So I will hope that if the
fire goes out that maybe the spark I left will ignite again but at a
time that may be better suited for them.
I have met many great and inspiring people
during my journey at Full Sail. I hope that at some point I will get
back on track financially and obtain that career that will allow me to
work with others who have the talent of loving, giving, and receiving. I
look forward to my growth for I know that I will continue to use that
growth to inspire others and to watch all the imaginings come true.
-
Elaine,
I can so empathize with you. Everything you do with these youth summarizes why I get up every morning. At present I am working with 17 alcoholic/drug addicts. Ages vary from 18 to 64 which makes them a very diverse group. I have been in this field a while and have no desire to become an LCDC Counselor. However, I do have a passion for working with these people and their families. When I first started working in this field I made a lot of mistakes. The first mistake was I took it home with me. At times trying to figure out how to help them kept me awake at night. I later realized that I am only a vessel of what my creator intended me for. When I leave there now I know that something bigger than myself has it all figured out. My second mistake was I wanted to befriend them when what they really needed was some structure and guidance. I learned the hard way and still teach my employees that if you don't hold them to some level of accountability they will never respect me. They don't need me to enable them their parents do a good job of that. We measure results where I work. When clients commit to something I always ask "how will I know you did it?" which deepens the commitment. The statistics are stacked against these people and they are given a choice. 1 in 5 will stay clean and sober, but we have to start somewhere and awareness is half the battle. I happy to know that there are people that at least try to help youth before they get to the place I work or a center like ours.
Tania I should be commending you. Working with recovering and active addicts is not an easy job at all. If you found a way to not take your work home then I applaud you. I guess with the kids I work with I have to just focus more on giving structure and guidance with care and concern. I wish there were more programs that could really show these kids where they could end up, but at times that doesnt seem to scare them anymore. I don't want to see them in a facilty like where you work. The statistics are just as bad. Of the 5 kids I work with 1 possibly 2 of them won't make it. It hurts but like you said I have to hold them accountable for their own actions.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for all you have shared and your advice. I appreciate you Tania.